Sunday, October 01, 2006
♥ Mind unblock

Alright I cleared my mindblock. So I'm back to blog a proper entry because I feel like blogging suddenly. Yes, I know I'm weird, you don't have to remind me, really. I know how weird I am, and sadly, there isn't much I can do about it. I seriously think I'm born like that. Weird, I mean.

Eye of gold
Thigh of blue
True or False
Who is who?

I've been having weird thoughts lately. Maybe it's because of the dreams, or maybe it's because I'm growing up (I hope), or maybe it's because I'm beginning to become weirder and weirder by the day. One of the weekdays I was on my way home, and I kept thinking what if I just disappear and everyone else's memories of me are erased. You know that show called what's-the-name. Where memories of a certain person are erased from everybody's minds and the faces of the person are erased on every photograph.

And then maybe I'm still alive but I'm invisible to everyone else, that's why I went crazy and imagined a world of my own. Or maybe I'm simply just some crazy person living in the Institute of Mental Health and all that I'm living now is a part of my imagination.

Uh huh, and maybe I had a friend but my memory of him or her got erased, just like everyone else. And suddenly in my primary school's autograph book there's a space under Best Friends which used to be his or her name, just that when I see it now, it seems like a space I left for stickers but the sticker dropped out or something.

And who knows, maybe there're millions of dimensions of people living on the same earth. Just that people of different dimensions don't see each other. And we walk through each other, yada yada, and all our buildings overlapt, just that we see only our type.

Or maybe the earth is not round afterall. Maybe the alien manipulated our minds. Maybe we're just the aliens' toys. Maybe we're just living on a small globe of plasticine that the alien moulded when he was young, and chucked into a dark corner of his alien home. And we're the little particles that live on it, and we already think so highly of ourselves.

Maybe we're all part of somebody else's dream. And when he or she wakes up, poof, all of us will be gone.

Yah, these thoughts. And more. Which makes me so affirmative I'm going crazy, or am already crazy.

Maybe we're all part of somebody's story. And the end comes when the story ends. And we'll all disappear, without even knowing why, perhaps without even knowing we ever existed, or did we? I am so not sure I exist, are you?

Masquerade
Paper faces on parade

And so many times I wondered if what I'm holding in my hands is really there or I imagined myself to be holding it, or am I just holding an image and not an object. I wonder if I really lie there when I go to sleep, or did I wander somewhere else and reached this world, this dimension, and my previous world is still puzzled at my disappearance.

Sometimes I wonder if there're two me in this world. Maybe another me had wandered here, or I had wandered into another world.

I am getting so confused with myself, so questioned with all the facts that the big men laid down. I wonder if I'm the only person in this world, or worlds that think like that. And I wonder if this is how people go crazy.

I'm feeling so. Tangled. Tangle > n. A confused, intertwined mass.

Right now...

I think I'm better off with a mindblock.

May my mind be blocked.