Friday, July 01, 2005

My right hand is shedding skin but not my left, I don't know why. Weird.

Today's been a very weird day. How should I put it, nothing very out of the ordinary has happened, more of things emotionally, alot of thoughts and feelings just came and go, none of them stayed for long, and none of them is not weird in any sense.

I woke up this morning to realise that I've left my foolscap pad in the lockers and I don't have the timetable to refer to. On natural instincts, I took out my handphone and smsed Joan for the timetable for the day. After I sent the message, I realised that all my books I possibly have are in the school locker, and so I have no need to pack my bag at all. And if I asked for the timetable because I want to know what books to take out of my locker, I could do so when I check my foolscap pad as when I take the books. It's like, all the logical thinking that should have come to be before I carry out an act came later than usual.

And I concluded thereafter that my brain is not active, yet.

When I reached school, I took out the books needed for the day. I had difficulty for the locks, not that I forgot the combination, but because the arrow kept ending in the wrong places of the lock, and no matter how I try, I could not get it done. I got fed up and gave up. And then this girl who came to the lockers later than me was standing beside me, opening her locker. And I watched her open it so, conveniently, like the lock was part of her, her working limbs or something. And then I thought, &%#!& WHY COULD SHE DO IT AND I CAN'T!!

And then I did the most stupid thing. I could not open the lock like this, so I tried it with my eyes closed. For no apparent reason, maybe because I just had the sudden urge to try something to show that I'm good at opening lockers. Lol. What am I talking about.

And for some reason, I opened the lock by feeling the arrow with my fingers. And after I opened the locker, the first thought that came to my mind was:

Why the hell did I try that??!!

Thereafter, I concluded that something is wrong today, inside me or something, I don't really know.

Today's Youth Day and we had a surprise concert put up by the teachers for us. Mr Ng, was, erm, entertaining. Him and his Jiang Nan sounded like Kakei's rendition of JJ's songs. =X And Mrs Lee looked so cute shaking her head up and down up and down. Lol.

And Mr Ang sang. Lol. He probably left us with many "tong nian ying1 ying3". =X

While watching the concert, all I could think of was, erm, something that happened quite some time ago. I was thinking about the mini concert I had with my Primary 5 classmates at Coasta Sands Resort where I went for my P5 camp. The setting was somewhat similar, I guess, just that it was air-conditioned then. And if I'm not wrong, some teacher who sounded like Mr Ang went up to sing a song that sounded like the one Mr Ang sang. So, crap. I was thinking about how we were made to sing Father Abraham and songs like this while I stood by the wall and fell asleep. I was caught later anyway, given a prep talk, and I became the last one to bathe. Lol.

And then school was over and I went to the library for an ice cream because the weather was so warm. And then Sokmui joined us and Prisiclla came with Yanyu. They did their lit project and me and Anson went to change into our uniforms for the Chinese Oral. I changed in the handicap toilet cubicle on the 2nd level. Many thoughts came and go, and I can't remember what were they about, the only one I could remember was the scene of me taking the PSLE Chinese Oral. And I still remember I was the first one, and both invilgilators were females. Lol.

I reached class 3/2 at 2pm. The class had 16 people from class 5/1. I felt so odd out, but a few of them recgonized me as the CIP member named Hong Mei Gui. Haha. All thanks to Mdm Hee harh. =/ And then another guy came so there were 17 people to go before it's my turn.

I fell asleep. And I had a dream. The only thing I can remember about the dream is that it's about people I know but I can't remember a single content. And I woke up with a jolt, like I've been pushed or something. I waited for a long long time. And I got bored so I started writing on receipts I've had with me with a blue pen I found on the table. And then I ran out of receipts so I started reading Wei Hao's Newsweeks he had left behind under his table. I finished reading the 4 copies he had on topics that interest me. And it was still long before it's my turn. So I started writing on one of Wei Hao's Newsweeks. =_= Haha. Paiseh. I apologised in his Newsweek too.

And then I fell asleep again. And then I woke up and just stared out of the window, letting thoughts flow freely like it always had whenever I'm bored and stare at things and do nothing. And I just kept thinking and thinking and thinking, about all things under the sun thinkable.

When it was finally my turn, I think the time was about 4. It was okay, I guess. I could read all the words in the passage and the invilgilators did not prompt me for both questions, although it may be because I'm the last one and they can't be bothered. But one of the invilgilators confirmed my chinese name twice, saying it slowly and thoroughly, like it's so weird to be called Hong Mei Gui. I started asking myself whether it's wrong to have such a name inside, lol, especially so when one them grinned after the two confirms. -_- I did not ask for that name, okay. I didn't. =_=

I went to library, and after which went home with Priscilla.

My end of day, my end of week 1 of Term 3.

There's something I did not mention in the last entry. On Monday night, I went to sleep rather early. And then weirdly enough, I woke up for no rhyme or reason on Tuesday morning at 2.18am. I know because I referred to the time on my handphone. On Tuesday night, I went to sleep again as usual. And double weirdly enough, I woke up again, for no rhyme or reason on Wednesday morning at 2.18am, on dot. On Wednesday night, I went to sleep, and I awoke on Thursday morning at 3++ am. It happened again the next day and I woke up at 2.30am on Friday morning, which is today. It's weird larh, I really don't know why. And each time I wake up at a time like this, I know that I've just had a dream but no matter how hard I try to recall, I can't remember it, at all.

Weird.

Bye.

What is it that you want me to say...
To make you realise...
The one who loves is loved,
The one who seeks love is not...

When it's all so complicated inside,
it seems all the more uncomplicated outside...
When will you understand...
When will you understand...