Monday, December 18, 2006
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What they do when they can't sleep
I couldn't get to sleep last night even after counting lamb, chickens and polar bears. I'm not joking about chickens and polar bears because I really counted them. -.- Polar bears usually work because after some time everything will go white and you'll slowly fall asleep. But it didn't work last night. So I smsed 10 people asking Who's awake.
Four replied. Weilong, Sarah, Eh-ren and Spiky. Weilong and Spiky are both playing Mahjong, uh, seperately. And nice Sarah offered me Boring Ideas To Make You Sleep. And anyway, I fell asleep after Sarah told me to count stars. I drew the curtains and tried to count. But there weren't any stars last night, so I fell asleep looking at the sky, time 1am.
Then at 1.30am (?), the Biggest Irritant who has a pathetic fate because he's in NYJC together with the Ultra Irritant aka Mr HaoB called just to wake me up. HE WOKE ME UP AFTER I'VE FINALLY FALLEN ASLEEP, HAVING TOSSED AND TURNED IN BED FOR THE LAST FOUR HOURS!
Fuck. Payback Eh-ren. Nobody sleeps at chalets right. How would you like a midnight call every hour from 2am onwards? The DUMB irritant really lives up to his name. He may not be as irritating as Mr HaoB but he's catching up real fast. No wonder they end up in the same school. With hardly anyone else they know. Hug on to him tightly aiight. I knew you love him all along.
Woken up at a terrible time of 1.30am, I couldn't get back to sleep. And so I thought of all the nasty things to say about Eh-ren ending up at NYJC with Mr HaoB. I hope they end up in the same orientation group. Then they'll go for lunch together and nurture their love for each other. Aw. How sweete. Two passionate hearts entwined together at a totally unfamiliar place. They've only each other to hold onto. Woots.
Anyway, I thought of coming online to blog right away. But my head's throbbing because I don't know, maybe I'm too angry that Eh-ren woke me up. And no matter how many times I said it, he refused to understand that the other time when I was on phone with him at 2am telling him about Physics, it was Spiky who dialled his number, and then passed the phone to me. I WASN'T THE ONE WHO WOKE HIM UP AT 2AM! >:(
I lay in bed, and I started thinking what these people would do when they can't get to sleep:
1. Son
Son couldn't get to sleep. He remembered somebody telling him that counting lambs work when you can't get to sleep. So he sat up on his bed, and pictured a scene of many meh-mehs crossing the field. Slowly, he counted. One by one, one by one. But then he was so fed up because it's taking him too long and Maths is supposed to be a two-second-and-you-get-the-answer thing. He reached out for his Mega Calculator, which consists of three calculators merged into one, by his bed side.
He took a whole 3.45 seconds to work out the number of meh-mehs crossing the field. Disappointed by himself because he took a far longer time than the last time when he used only 3.44 seconds, he slumped into depression. Suddenly, he realised there's more than one method to finding the number of meh-mehs crossing the field. Excited by the thought that he's never discovered this before, he whipped out Mega Calculator and did the sum in 15 different methods.
Satisfied with himself, he then took out a piece of paper and wrote down the 15 different methods and formula that he used to arrive and the same answer, not forgetting to record the different amount of time he took to do that method, so that he could break his own record the next time. Then, to wrap things up, he turn on the lights and headed for his 21st Maths book shelf where it's stuffed with books on counting the different animals when you can't sleep. He swiftly took out a hard-cover book named Meh Meh Counting --- A Complete Guide, 14 Ways to Count Your Meh Meh. He was grinning to himself because guess what! He's discovered the 15th way to count Meh Meh.
After scribbling the 15th method into the book, Son got back onto bed, thinking, "Wow. Maybe there's a 16th way..." That's why, he never falls asleep.
2. Sokmui
Sokmui couldn't get to sleep. Who's she kidding, she never falls asleep at night. She's born nocturnal. At 2am in the morning, she should be out killing her 7th victim of the night. But here she was, lying on her bloody bed, telling herself to bloody get some sleep, so that people will stop thinking she's a bloody killer. Who's she bloody kidding.
(I hope she doesn't read this, but yah, who am I bloody kidding.)
Sokmui thought of the last guy she saw at NTUC this morning, where she started working so as to appear less of a killer and more of a normal average girl. He had the perfect neck, just the one she needed to pass a thin slice over. It's been a long time since she's spotted such a neck. And the last one she spotted, she was almost caught for that thin slice over the neck. But she escaped just in time, catching a glimpse of the police officer whom she thought has the best wrist ever.
Tossing in the bed, Sokmui felt incomplete, because she hasn't gotten hold of that wrist, yet. She has been trying to track down that same police officer, but to no avail. Working as the cashier at NTUC isn't helping things, because most of the customers are aunties with fat wrists and wrinkled necks. She wants only the top stuff. And she's been seeing less and less of it, until the last guy this morning...
Sokmui got out of bed and examined the 67 glass jars by her bedside, each containing her proud work over the last 6 years. Her favourite was that elegant finger which she placed in a yellow-tinted glass jar, different from the others non-coloured ones. But the elegance is quickly diminished at the thought of the neck this morning. Sokmui couldn't get her mind off that neck. She must have it.
Sokmui reminded herself to ask the Guy With The Beautiful Neck for his number the next time she sees him. She thought of a plan to get hold of that neck fast. Bring him to the night safari, and then push him down when they passed the lions, let the lions have a quick bite, and then she'll take care of the rest. When the police ask, she'll just say the lions ate the neck... She smiled to herself, then thought about the police officer with the best wrist ever... That's why, she never falls asleep.
3. ----
Oops! Got to go bathe, meeting Fiona earlier to get the cheese hotdogs for the BBQ. :D I'll continue another time, perhaps. Bye! And may Eh-ren have a wonderful time at NYJC with the best buddy in the world! Yippee!
MG :) wrote on
10:01.
