Wednesday, October 19, 2005

Ey, I just realised I'm not alright leh.

'Cause, I just did 150 push-ups, 300 sit-ups, 80 knee to chest jumps, 30 rounds of neck rotation clockwise and anti-clockwise each, and am contemplating whether to go down for a jog.

...

Paiseh Sokmui I can't go find you now because, I don't look erm, presentable at the moment.

By the way, lemon tea is nice.

...

Fine, that was too random. But there can be a link if you really want to look for one. Like, lemon tea is nice, so I'm drinking it, and then I drank so much that the world's lemon teas are drank up, and I got sued because I finished up all the lemon tea, and I was sent to jail for 15 years, and after 15 years I contracted depression because I couldn't recognise the world, and I started looking all haggard and untidy, and thus, I don't look presentable.

Okay, so my lameness is still there. Check.

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Ey, I'm home alone again. Not exactly lar, my parents are still home, but whether they are here or not doesn't really make a difference. Other than them, I'm home alone. That means I have two rooms, one living room, one kitchen, one toilet and one storeroom to myself. Nothing much to be happy about actually, I experience this very often.

...

No connection to what I've been saying huh.

No larh, you see, after contracting depression, I came home and started hallucinating. So I hallucinated that I have two rooms, one living room, one kitchen, one toilet and one storeroom to myself. But I did not feel happy about that, duh, I'm still contracting depression.

LAMENESS STILL THERE. CHECK SECOND TIME.

Jay very idiotic.

...

OMG! Did I just say that?!

-slaps myself 150 times-

No, wait. Hear the explanation first.

NO! THERE'S NO ROOM FOR NEGOTIATION!! HOW CAN JAY BE IDIOTIC!!!

-forces myself to bang the wall 60 times-

Wait wait. There's a reason why I said that.

NONONONO! I DON'T WANT TO HEAR! *covers ears* LALALALALALA~

Fine, but I still think Jay is idiotic.

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NO!!! I DID NOT SAY THAT!!

...

Okay fine I did. Jay is idiotic Jay is idiotic *continues chanting*

STOP IT STOP IT STOP IT!!

FINE YOU WIN! Jay is not idiotic, happy?!

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Fine, tell me why Jay is idiotic.

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Nah, I was just trying to be funny. (start laughing at the count of 3.)

1,2,3!!

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!

...

Scroll up and read the first sentence of this entry.

Now do you get what I mean?

If this is what they call interior monologue, I pity Krishna.

By the way, I'm feeling like Jeremy inside.

Hey! I just said something no one will understand! Hahahahaha. Because the only people that will understand the other meaning of Jeremy are the badminton people. And the badminton people can't understand it either! Whee!

Intelligence still there. Check.

By the way, this is the third by the way. Oh, fourth already.

Tahahahaha. So funneh.

Actually I'm like normal if I don't think about something. But once I think about this particular thing, there are weird feelings inside, like fried rice. Don't ask me why the use of that metaphor, I don't know either.

So it feels like fried rice inside.

Idiot, I just ate fried rice yesterday. No wonder it's still inside. Ey, and that fried rice has some squishy white unidentified object. NO LARH, not worm, not maggot. Okay actually I don't know. But I prefer not to scare myself.

Wang Lao Shi read my Chinese compo yesterday. Ey, I thought it was okay-written. But he said there were some misused chim phrases.

HAHAHAHAHAHA.

Ey, don't laugh at myself.

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I almost forgot about the ultimate aim. Ey, I'll befriend him tomorrow. And then touch his unfeeling heart with passion, to guide him how to whisper. This is community service okay, must record down how many hours.

Yay! I'll be Haobo's friend!

Oooooooops. I accidentally disclosed who it was. Ah damn, I wanted it to be secretive. Damn damn damn.

By the way (fifth one), Sandy cut off one of her legs because I said she was lame.

...

LAME.

Uh oh, now she has to cut off the other leg. Muahahahahahaha.

Sandy still there. Check.

Remember I said I smashed my printer?

Eh? Why did I mention it again. -.-

By the way (sixth one), how do you pronounce Chopin? Chopping? Chou-pin? Sho-pin? Nevermind, I stick to Xiao Bang.

Sec two Kakei acted as Xiao Bang. I acted as his girlfriend who gave him a slap. Benjamin acted as his father who turned two rounds before dropping dead after he was shot.

Ey, and stop saying my previous post is chim. I wrote that lar, no matter how unbelievable you think it is.

By the way (seventh...), I'm dying to play badminton again.

No, not literally dying. Why would I die to play badminton. If I'm dead, I can't play badminton. Eh, but Weisiang can. Oh, that's beside the point. I was saying, I very much want to play badminton now.

Don't give me the go-play-with-your-mother look. Look at the time, whatever makes you think she'll still be awake?!

Memory still there. Check.

Now playing: Jian Dan Ai

jian jian dan dan ai~

Ey, I'm 15. Underaged lar. Can't even watch The Wig.

Now playing: Ai Qing Xuan Ya

wo diao jing ai qing xuan ya~
hui xiang qi ni de ke ai~
sha sha de hai zai deng dai~

Ey, Jay, stop singing love songs.

Now playing: An Jing

zhi shen xia gang qing pei wo tan le yi tian~
shui zao de da ti qin~
an jing de jiu jiu de~
wo xiang ni biao xian de fei chang ming bai~
wo dong wo ye zhi dao~
ming ming you she bu de~

Ey, Jay asking me to An Jing. *clicks next button

Now playing: Qi Li Xiang

yu xia zheng ye~
wo de ai yi chu jiu xiang yu shui~
yuan zhi luo ye~
gen wo de shi nian hou hou yi die~
ji ju shi fei~
ye wu fa jiang wo de re qing leng que~
ni chu xian zai wo shi de mei yi ye~

... *clicks next button

Now playing: Yi Lu Xiang Bei

wo yi lu xiang bei~
li kai you ni de ji jie~
ni shou ni hao lei yi wu fa zai ai shang shui~
feng zai shan lu chui~
guo wang de hua mian quan duo shi wo bu dui~
xi shu can kui~
wo shang ni ji nui~

...

Jay craze still there. Check.

Woah?! Almost 11 le. Ey can someone talk to me online. I'm B.O.R.E.D.

I find this post very crappy and disorientated. No?

AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

I just checked the post exam schedule. WE HAVE EXTRA CHINESE LESSONS TOMORROW?! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!

I want training!!!!!! Until 3.30pm!!!!!!! AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

Next Tuesday also got!!! *screams till head drops off*

Who set the timetable!!

I'm going to slaughter him/her alive, skin layer by layer, drill a hole in the neck and pull the throat so thight it produces sounds when pluck, stuck toothpicks into the eyeballs and pull them out and barbeque, glue the right side of the body to the left using super glue and then pull them apart, cut off the top part of the head and pour water inside to drown the brain, and then take the brain out and dice it to fry, or I can use it to make grey jelly, and dunk the tongue and teeth to brew the soup, and as main course, I'll cut off the toes to make rojak, and together with the bbq-ed eyeballs, fried brain and/or brain jelly and the soup, I made a meal!

...

Sadistic still. Check.

Sorry if this post is disturbing. I forgot to add "Parental Guidance advised" at the top. I add it now, not too late?

Parental Guidance advised.

OMG! My clock just chimed 11! I've got to run home and say EH? I TOT 12AM LE! WALAU MADE ME RUN HOME FROM THE BALL LIKE THAT! and then start laughing because I'm not Cinderalla. Eh? I told this joke before le. Oh. I'm trying to be funny again.

Oei, laugh lar, what're you waiting for? The grasshoppers to finish grass hopping?

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Just in case you're wondering why I'm cracking so many jokes all of a sudden, please scroll up to read the first line of this entry.

If your scroller is spoilt, you may exit and then come back to read all over again.

If the exit sign is missing, you may steal one from Anderson Secondary because there are 72 EXIT signs in the new block alone. Take from the Science block please. There are 8 around the spiral staircase in both the second and third levels.

If you've forgotten how to steal, you may jump out of your window now, and be reborn as someone of a higher intelligence.

If you've forgotten where your window is, you may go to sleep now.

If your bed is broken, you may sleep on the floor now.

If there are 40 worms on your floor, you may sleep in the chair you are sitting on now.

If your chair is complaining, you may continue reading.

If you're tired, and all of the above are happening to you, you may start having depression now, because you're officially the suayest person in the universe. May god be with you. Amen.

If you feel think this is funny, don't laugh.

If you feel like laughing, refer to the sentence above.

Ey, I said not to laugh.

...

Spastic still. Check.

I'm sleepy, finally. YAY!

Bye.